Lindsay Lohan Finally Gets Into Porn

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Lindsay Lohan getting wet, pulling her own hair

Yeap, I was just kidding. Not yet at least, but here are some topless screen caps from her latest movie The Canyons. You’ll get to see Lindsay topless, getting her pussy licked, showering and so on. No hair-pulling, no deep-throating, no ass-fucking-for-crack, but don’t despair, that will happen soon! Lilo’s cash is running out faster than a Ferrari, and no serious film producer will ever want to work with her afer her last disastrous movies, so like we’ve always anticipated, Lindsay will surely do porn one day.

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Kristina and Karissa Shannon Are Now Ebonies

The Shannon Twins Showing Off Their Assets

Karissa or Kristina – who gives a shit which one it is. They’re both s***

Kristina and Karissa Shannon went black. After shooting a sextape with a black dude, the sisters sistahs went and pumped up their asses and tits to the max so they can both look like some black porn chick or, well, Kim Kardashian. Way to go girls, the next step is porn, right? It’s the only field of work you can make a name for yourselves on. Otherwise you’re just a bunch of plastic crap that belongs to the trash can.

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Zahia Dehar Thinks She’s Not Naked

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Zahia, the former(?) prostitute

But she is, cause she’s a former prostitute and that’s what prostitutes do. Zahia became famous when the whole French soccer team scored goal after goal. On her face. Yes, I mean the squad fucked the shit out of her, taking turns and shit till they ruined her innocence, not that she had any left. The thing is she’s now famous and she thinks she’s a designer, and we all agree she is because we’re all perverts and want to see more of her, and laugh and applaud her shitty creations. Because, Zahia, people never forget and even when you’re smiling and waving at the crowd after your costume parade, they’re all imagining your face full of cum and spit, having a one dollar bill sticked on your forehead, because that’s what you are.

PS: cool gif of what’s left of her ass after the French destroyed it, after the jump

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Kate Upton Topless On A Horse

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If you ever wondered how a pig(gy) would look riding a horse, here it is. Kate Upton trying to do two things at once might be too much for the big blonde. I meant big boobed. Not that she’s not fat, but oh I can’t wait for the hate wave telling me how perfect she is. Anyway, here’s some fake photos of her in which she actually looks damn hot, and here’s Kate almost nude, looking like a (photoshopped) hamburger.

So basically yea, it’s ok to like the bimbo here. It’s not ok, if you’re not really into BBW – big beautiful woman – a slang usually used in porn. GIF after the jump!

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Melissa Satta Is An American

Melissa Satta in a bikini. Cum on my keyboard

Melissa Satta in a bikini. Cum on my keyboard

Melissa Satta doing who the fuck cares what catwalk show in a bikini. She’s an american, but of course she has a lot of latin blood running through her long legs, amazing ass and well.. veiny boobs – not present in any of the photos, unfortunately. She tried her luck with Victoria’s Secret, but lost out to her equally-hot Candice Swanepoel and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

If you’d put Melissa in a mirror you’d get ass(illeM). Shut the fuck up!

Wouldn’t you like to tie her up.. to the pipes in your basement, and just keep her there for your own perverted fun? Maybe throw a slice of pizza at her every now and then.
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Sasha Grey Licking a Clean Mirror

Sasha Grey licking herself

Sasha Grey licking herself

Sasha Grey needs no introduction. Tears, thousands and thousands of them shared since she left the porn scene to.. don’t really know, maybe to only suck, fuck and get spit in the face by rich bastards. Maybe she wanted to become a big screen star, after she has ridden about 100 miles of cock and drank some 10 gallons of sperm. I miss the old days when she was making famous porn stars look like fuckin amateurs, doing 20 black cocks in 20 minutes.

Anyway, here’s a very soft photo shoot of Sasha in some mainstream shitty mag.

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Kelly Brook Sucking Big Cock In Public

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Kelly Brook salivating before filling her mouth with cock

It’s a rubber cock, and she didn’t actually suck it, she licked it. But it would be enough for Kelly Brook to slide her tongue once across my cock and I’d be done, and my cum would hang on the sealing like stalactites. In fact it’s enough for any of Kelly Brook’s bikini galleries for me, no touching.

So here she is, blindfolded, with her mouth wide open searching for the cock. And here I cum again, dammit. She did this in a British game show called Celebrity Juice.

So Brits, is this a usual thing on your tv shows? Celebs blindfolded, enrolled in sexual games in front of an audience? Who knows maybe next time you’ll have Keeley Hazell‘s hands and legs tied up bondage style, blindfolded, searching for a 20-inch rubber cock with her asshole. Sounds goo, ay’ mate ?

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Emma Watson Protected Nipple Slip

Emma protecting her goods

Here’s Emma Watson slipping her nipple protection. I wonder if she’s also wearing a pussy protection like one of those. That would make a quicky sex in the bathroom easier – just stick it in and her protection would act like a condom. Or not. Who cares, who doesn’t want Emma’s babies?

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